I stopped mistaking resistance for intuition 🤯

I didn’t grow up knowing what real softness looked like. My mom was always “on.” Hair done, makeup perfect, smile ready. She couldn’t walk outside without it. She cared what people thought of everything, not because she was vain, but because she was scared. Scared of being talked about, scared of being wrong, scared of what her sisters might say.

She was a caretaker. Always cooking, cleaning, and making sure everything looked fine from the outside. She even called herself “teacher,” which was weird because she wasn’t one. That’s just how she saw herself — as the one who had to manage everyone else.

By the time I was five, she’d already decided I was “mature.” Which basically meant she stopped checking on me emotionally. I learned to figure things out alone. When I tried to talk to her about anything real, it turned into about her. If I said I was struggling, she’d say, “What would people think if they knew you were in therapy?”

She did the best she knew how. She is who she is. But even with that truth, I still became who I became. Until I started looking at all the parts of that, I couldn’t become the best version of myself.

I told myself I was independent. That I didn’t need anyone. That I was fine on my own. But really, I was armored. I didn’t know it at the time.

Motherhood broke that illusion.

I started realizing I wasn’t failing at being a mom because I was doing something wrong. I was failing because I was comparing myself to a woman who didn’t even exist. A mix between my mom’s image, who I swore I’d never be, and the “perfect mom” everyone pretends to be online.

No wonder I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t know how to nurture without disappearing, or how to love without feeling like I was losing myself.

So when I felt shut down or distant, I called it intuition. I told myself I was protecting my peace or following alignment. It wasn’t intuition. It was fear.

It was my body remembering what it felt like when love didn’t feel safe. It was my nervous system staying stuck in a story that said connection meant risk.

My husband and kids have always been good to me, but I still kept them at a distance. I didn’t realize it at the time, but even though they were the people closest to me, there was always invisible glass there.

When I started putting my hand on my heart and saying, “I am safe,” it sounded ridiculous. I was safe. But my body didn’t believe it. It had never left the past.

Since then, things have changed. I’ve started to soften. I’ve started to actually enjoy my life. I love being a mom now, something I never thought I’d say. It doesn’t mean everything’s perfect, it just means I’m present. I’m finally here.

And that’s what Awakening Self is about. It’s not another mindset course or manifestation training. It’s a live experience that helps your body catch up to your soul, so you can stop analyzing who you’re supposed to be and start actually feeling like yourself again.

If this resonates with you, reply and say details to get early access before it opens publicly.

👽💛
Danielle

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