Maybe slowing down is how I actually “do it all”

TL;DR:
We live in a world that makes you feel like a failure for slowing down. 🖕🏼
Like if you’re not pushing, you must not care enough.
But I’m not building my life around this shit anymore.
I’m not building something just to say I built it fast.
I want what I create to actually last.
And sometimes that moves slower than the egoooo.

We’re surrounded by messages that say if you really want something, you won’t slow down.

That pressure shows up everywhere.
In the way people talk about success.
In the way we’re expected to show up online.
In how we talk to ourselves when something feels off, but we keep pushing anyway.

And somewhere along the way, we started equating momentum with worth.
If you're not constantly moving forward, are you even trying?

That energy used to run me.
I built a lot from it.
I got a lot done.
But I was constantly tired, disconnected, and irritated at things that weren’t even the real issue.

Now, I pay attention.

Last week, my daughter had a fever.

It came on strong and high, and everything in me shifted.

I didn’t have to think about it.
I didn’t debate whether I should still get things done.
I just stopped. Fully.

The push I’d been in, the momentum I was building, it didn’t matter in that moment.
She did.

And the version of me from a few years ago?
I probably would’ve still tried to keep everything moving.

Now I don’t. I don’t need a breakdown to justify being present.

That’s what nervous system healing has given me.

It’s not about being perfectly regulated. (still have my moments y’all, I’m human)
It’s about noticing when something matters more than the plan I had.
And giving myself full permission to shift without guilt or explanation.

Same as last month.
I was originally planning to hold the July workshop on June 30.
And about a week and a half out, I felt it. That “nope.”
And I moved it.

Because I could.
Nothing’s set in stone. I make the calls. I can change them.
And honestly, it’s a nervous system workshop… why the hell would I teach it from force? 🧐
Let me teach through lived experience.

I know not everyone has the freedom to shift dates.
You might be tied to a job or a schedule where saying no isn’t simple.
But a lot of the time?
We do have space. We just don’t believe we do.

That’s programming. That’s a habit.
That’s choosing the same thing again and again while still complaining it’s not working.
And yeah, I’ve done that too… It’s part of life.

But now, I move when it’s time to move.
Not because a calendar told me to.
Because my body did.

Because here’s what no one sees when they say I “do it all.”

I homeschool.
I sit with my kids one-on-one.
I cook. I clean. I run a business.
I read. I write. I lead. I build.
And I also binge-watch Marvel movies and go down a full Downton Abbey spiral when my body needs a reset. (BTW, Dr. Strange has SO many hidden esoteric teachings in that thing - SOOOO good)

I don’t get it all done at once.
I don’t do it all every day.

I pace myself. That’s how I do it.
And that’s how I stay in it without breaking.

What I’m building matters to me. Remeria is my life’s work.
But I’m not willing to trade my presence or peace to get there faster.

And lately, I’ve been watching that same shift finally start to click in my husband.

For years, I’ve known this was his pattern.
The overdoing. The constant forward motion.
The “we don’t divert from the plan” energy.

It’s how he survived… literally kept him alive at points in his life.
Marine Corps. Fire dept. Provider role. All of it.

But now I see him pulling back. Slowing down. Questioning what he used to chase.
Not in a way that’s giving up.
In a way that looks like finally coming home to himself.

And here’s the truth of it:

Even if you have someone in your life who can see your entire path (👋🏼 hi, it’s me)
Even if your wife is a psychic 😉
Even if someone lays it out clearly (cue year-ahead forecasts)
You still have to live it.

You have to feel it.
You have to hit the moment where the old way stops working.
And then decide if you’re ready to try a new way.

That’s what I’ve been sitting in.
Not a meltdown. Not a breakthrough.

Just that quiet, strong place where I know I’m choosing differently now.
Not because I have to.
Because I can.

So if you’re pacing yourself
If you’ve stopped pushing even though you still care deeply
If you’re in that weird middle space between doing and resting

You’re not falling into the pit of nothingness..
You’re not so fucked up to no end…
You’re learning how to live with yourself, not against yourself.

That’s the work no one claps for.
But it’s the work that actually changes everything.

—Danielle

P.S.
If life’s been a lot lately and you’re trying to keep it together without falling apart...
That’s exactly what this workshop is for.

When It’s All Too Much
👉🏼 Tuesday, July 22

We’ll get into nervous system overload, what actually helps (not just what sounds good), and how to stay with yourself when everything feels like too much.

This isn’t mindset work. It’s human work.

Come as you are. Pajamas welcome.