When the good finally arrives, and you want to hide

Hey you,

Last week should have been the kind of week you celebrate.

After seven months of applying, almost 200 applications sent, and about seven interviews that went nowhere, my husband finally got the call. The role he had been holding out for. A big job with a massive company. The wild part is that he didn’t even need a job. He had already retired from one career. But this one mattered to him, so he kept showing up for it, and eventually the call came.

In the same week, we found a new house. The search that had felt endless suddenly opened up.

And then, almost like a wink from the universe, I finally got the golf cart I had been eyeing. Daily driver style. (Yes, I still laugh at the absurdity of saying I have a “dream golf cart.”)

From the outside, it probably looked like the week where everything finally lined up. New job. New house. Even the golf cart I’d been wanting. It should have felt like a celebration, but my body told a different story.

But here’s what actually happened. My body wanted to shut down.

Instead of elation, I felt a weight pressing on my chest. My energy dropped. And while the outside world would have expected me to be celebrating, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hide.

This is the part people rarely talk about. That expansion does not always feel like joy at first.

When you finally step into what you have been asking for, your body does not always meet it with ease. Sometimes it contracts. Sometimes it panics. Sometimes it tries to drag you back into what feels familiar, even when the familiar is smaller than what you are now meant to hold.

And this is where so many of us get caught. We start to believe the heaviness means we are not ready. We read the shutdown as a failure. And then we find ourselves sliding back into old habits. Not because we didn't want the upgrade, but because our bodies hadn't yet learned how to handle it.

That was what I had to see in myself. The shutdown was not proof that I was not ready. It was proof that I was stretching.

Maybe you have felt this too.
You finally land the job.
You finally meet the partner.
You finally see the number you have been asking for in your bank account.

And instead of soaring, you feel heavy. Instead of joy, you feel numb. Instead of celebrating, you feel the urge to escape.

That does not mean you have failed. It means your old self is being stretched, and your nervous system is scrambling to keep up.

Here is what I have learned. Real growth is less about getting what you want and more about building the capacity to stay steady once it arrives.

It is the difference between holding your breath when good things happen and actually being able to breathe them in.

And it starts with noticing.
When the good shows up and your chest tightens, try breathing anyway.
When the urge to sabotage or run appears, see if you can sit with it just a moment longer than you used to.
When you feel yourself collapsing into the familiar, remind yourself that discomfort is not failure. It is your body trying to catch up to your future.

That is the practice. That is how expansion stabilizes.

This is exactly what we will be working on in Awakening Self, a four-month live program running from November through February. We will meet twice a month, build practices that hold in your body and not just in your head, and walk through this season together.

Enrollment officially opens later this month. If you already know this is your season and you want in, reply to this email and I will send you the back door link.

Because the truth is, you are not collapsing. You are expanding. And learning how to hold it is the doorway into the life you have been waiting for.

👽💛
Danielle

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